2013 In Review (kind of...)

Facebook has a new feature that automatically determines the top 20 moments of 2013 for everyone. I'm not sure exactly how it determines what those were, but it was interesting to review. (Here they are if you are interested.) Really, though, most of my 2013 year is on the blog or documented electronically in some other way, at least as far as what happened. But what happened isn't really my year. Really my year that matters is how I improved and grew over the last 12 months.

So, here are 10 things I learned in 2013:

1. I can't do anything on my own.
2. It is OK to say no to something {insert positive adjective here}. There will be more {same adjective} things again.
3. Faith alone is extremely powerful.
4. I'm not very good at taking care of pets or plants.
5. Salt Lake City is my home.
6. Building new relationships is just as important as maintaining old ones.
7. I love Halloween. (yes, this was a new realization)
8. No job is perfect, but mine is pretty close.
9. Family dynamics are always changing.
10. Good people come out of the woodwork when there is a need.

Thanks, Kid President

This made my day. Exactly what I needed. Happy Monday!

And if you haven't seen it, check out his pep talk.

Utah

Once upon a time I moved to Utah to go to school. I hated the winters, but loved my life in the bubble of BYU. After successful completion of a bachelor's degree, I moved away, ready for a change. I swore I would never move back. 

Fast forward three years. I moved to Utah to go to school. Again. After living here for three years, wishing I could move, longing for something different, and finally successfully completing a master's degree, I find that I don't want to move. At least not right now.

So, folks, I guess it has happened. It is official. I have become a lover of Utah, particularly a lover of SLC.

I love the diversity of food options.
I love the beautiful sunsets from my porch.
I love the autumn leaves in the canyons.
I love the cooperative community members.
I love that the center of my life is in the city center.
I love the public transit system.
I love nature at my doorstep.
I love the surprising diversity.
I love the plethora of culture.
I love my house.
I love the silent movie theater.
I love the farmer's market.
I love my family here-ish.
I love my friends.
I love my life.
I love SLC.

The Waiting Place

Have you read Oh, the Places You'll Go? I am sure you have, and you may have felt like I do, that life is like this. Almost every place in the book I have been. I have been in a slump. I have had great things happen. I've had bang-ups and hang-ups. I have been left in a lurch. I have done magical things. I have succeeded at things. The great things are great and the hard things are hard, but none is harder than the "most useless place: The Waiting Place... for people just waiting."

This is where I have been for the last few months. Waiting. Simply waiting for a few things to get sorted out in my life. Things I could truly do nothing about. It really is the most useless place. There is no progression. There is no control. There is no opportunity.



But as the book says: "Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing." And so I have. Maybe I don't hear any boom bands yet, but things are moving forward. Progression and opportunity have returned. I am once again riding high "with banner flip-flapping."

Graduation(s)

You may now address me as Master Holmes

While I walked at Commencement a couple months ago, it is now official (and rather anti-climactic). All papers have been turned in. All classes have been passed. Just now waiting for them to mail me a diploma. The whole process has got me thinking about the various graduations I have had. I have been in school for a crazy long time!

Here is my first one: Joy School 1988 (or somewhere close to that). How cute (and blonde!!) was I?!


I was before the time of kindergarten graduation ceremonies, but I did pass that. In fact, I went to full-day kindergarten, so that has to count for something, right? Here is me with Mrs. Wagner, my kindergarten teacher. Please ignore the bowl cut. It was cool back then.


Elementary School graduation happened somewhere in there too. 1996 to be exact, but it seems those pictures have been lost to the void.


However, 8th Grade Celebration (aka graduation) will always be remembered due to this lovely gem.

But none of that ever goes on your transcript, or your resume. Those are just about getting to the next thing, High School. Class of 2003. Lance looks really excited to be there.

Then on to college. After 4 years at BYU, I was pretty excited to be done. Jumping for joy with my roommates. Class of 2007

And now, after 20 years of formal education, I am done. (Remind me of that if I ever start talking about getting a PhD.)
MPA. 2013.

And a tremendous THANK YOU to my wonderful parents who have been there for those important moments, but more importantly helped me get there. I couldn't have done it without your support (physical, mental, and emotional).

Thank you for all you do. 

And now the traditional parents-flanking-the-graduate poses.

All grown up

I spent this past weekend at home for my baby sister's high school graduation. Crazy that she has now graduated from high school. I still remember the night she was born...

I was in 4th grade. It was right after Thanksgiving, and I came home from school. My younger brothers were not with me (kindergarten? not exactly sure why), but Shayne was home (he was in middle school so, he got out earlier). He was playing on the computer (some typical text adventure game), and nonchalantly said, "Mom's having the baby, so you are going over to the Dixon's to stay." Back-up, my mom wasn't due until after Christmas. She still had a month to go, so I did what any know-it-all second child would do to her older sibling, I called his bluff. There was no way she was having the baby, she still had one more month, and all the evidence said I was right. But of course, I wasn't and he was telling the truth. Complications required an emergency cesarean. Mom and Dad would be involved in that, so I was going to stay with my friend's family for an indefinite amount of time, and they were coming to pick me up in less than an hour. Back-up a couple days, I had received a chain letter. On Chan's birthday, I still had to print it and mail it out or else... the unlikely terrible misfortune specifically outlined in the letter would befall me. Argument ensued for use of the computer, of which I do not at all remember the outcome. One could say all of my luck (good or bad) could be traced back to whether or not Shayne let me use the computer, but I honestly don't remember if he did or not, so he's off the hook, and I was off to Mel's. I remember when the parentals called to tell me she was born and named Chantry (no input from the other kids on the name, and I was super confused by the spelling) and she was ok. We went in to visit her and had to scrub up to our elbows to go into the NICU. She was so tiny, she fit in cabbage patch doll clothes.

And now she all grown up.

Still the baby of the family, still the shortest one, but she is so great. She has such a fun personality, and it has been wonderful to watch her grow up. For most of her life I have been living away, but I've been able to see her quite often. I love how she is passionate about things she likes. She never has to follow in anyone's footsteps. She follows her own path. She is headed over to BYU-Idaho now, and it will be such a great experience for her. I am excited to see how much she grows and changes. That first year away is so empowering. I am so excited to see everything she does!

Congratulations and good luck! Let the commencement of life begin!

Each life that touches ours

I've been contemplating a lot on how or even if to write this post. I feel like I don't blog very often, so do I really want my latest post in over a month to be a bit of a downer? Nevertheless, I feel like this is the best way for me to think and feel and grieve for a lost friend. So, this post is really more for me than you. Please oblige, or just skip this one.

I found out this weekend that an elder from by MTC district passed away suddenly. He was only 24. He was so great. I just looked through some old photos, and they just make me smile and cry. It is crazy how being with people for only three weeks can still allow you to bond so deeply. I guess that is a big part of a mission. Anyway, I just love Elder Newson. He was like my little brother in the MTC. I was a bit older than the other sisters, and even more older than the elders, so many of them felt like little brothers, but Newson and I had a special bond. He was so much like my brother Lance. We just clicked. While these aren't all, below are some of my memories with him.

• I remember making fun of his inability to get rid of his skater clothes, even for his mission. He wore a Volcom suit and Volcom shoes in the MTC. The soles were green and the lining of the suit was crazy, but it was so him.
• I remember sitting together in the cafeteria after planning before bedtime, eating peanut butter and nutella toast (Reese's toast) and bonding with our district (and the Germans, they always came down too).
• I remember laughing and joking in our district room. A needed break from continuous studying. Newson always had a funny thing to do or say.
• I remember him spear-heading the planning for a road trip that was to happen in 2010. After everyone in our district had returned home and we would all vacation together to Mexico. Sadly, that didn't happen.
• I remember sitting in the lobby of the MTC with him. Talking about life and the gospel. How life was before a mission, the power of God and the atonement and change.
• I remember hearing about his success in the mission field. We were in neighboring missions, and I loved hearing that he was doing well.

Since being home, we have not been in touch as much, and now that makes me sad. But I hope he knows he was an important part of my life and time at the MTC. That his friendship, insight and example were something I needed while there.

Until we meet again, thank you for touching my life for good.

It just looks like that is my arm is around Newson in this picture.
He was one of my favorites, so maybe it was in spirit.

Ramblings on Faith

~~~ I wrote this post months ago, but it never got posted. I haven't written in a while, so I figured I'd post it up. Read if you feel like a little insight into the religious ramblings of a now 28-year-old mormon girl living and working in the "apostate" university area of Salt Lake City.~~~

I'm not sure what's up with me lately, but I've really been thinking a lot about faith. and belief. I stumbled upon the blog of a girl I went to school with. She talks all about her "personal journey" of leaving the church. I find it so intriguing to hear other people's points of view. And in some ways it makes me question mine. Would I be Mormon if I wasn't raised that way? I can't say I would, but I can't say I wouldn't. I feel extremely blessed to have been born into a loving, religious home. I have such supportive parents who have encouraged me in all that I've done, even if it hasn't been exactly what they would have wanted. I am grateful for their influence and example to me. I have faith that I can be all that Heavenly Father would have me be. And the only way I can do that is by creating and maintaining a relationship with Him.

Some people seem to think that organized religion, specifically the LDS church, is not a place to find Christ. And maybe that's because it is imperfect. That people in it are imperfect. I used to say that the church is perfect, but the people in it aren't. I'm not sure I believe that anymore. I know the Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect, and that the church is a vehicle to bring me closer to Him. I know I feel His influence more in my life when I am living an active LDS lifestyle. I know there are many professed Mormons who have no true relationship with Christ. This is where this idea originates, I believe.

I don't believe you can just do the right things and get to the celestial kingdom. I believe it is about becoming a Christlike person. Moroni 7:48. We only become the inheritors of the Kingdom if we are filled with love. As a member of the Church, I feel like all the things I do, or don't do are motivated by love. Or, they can be, but I'm imperfect.

I just have a hard time with people who leave the church because they see imperfections in the people. Or too much discussion about the what we do, rather than the why we do it. However, I think we see this in other churches as well. They may have a different view of what is right, or what they should be doing. But, I would much rather be serving in some capacity than singing praises all day. Maybe that is wrong, but I feel like it is the example Christ set. Yes, he worshiped Heavenly Father, and taught truth, but most of his praising and teaching were done by the example he set. The parables he shared of caring and loving, and doing and being, and BECOMING!

A birthday haiku - or two

So, I'm twenty-eight.
Life is not at all how I
Ever expected.

But my life is great.
Great job, great friends, great fam, great
happenings each day.

J-Lo

Because having a job and trying to finish my masters degree, along with attempts to maintain important relationships and stay sane was not enough responsibility in my life, enter Jack Lowell, aka J-Lo.

He was given to me by a coworker, and now lives on my desk. As this is my first pet, I have spent far too much time researching everything about betta fish: when to feed them, how much to feed them, when to clean their bowls, etc. As this weekend was my first time away from him for longer than a day, I was pretty sure I was going to have done something wrong and walk in to a dead fish this morning. I may have dreamed had nightmares about it. But somehow he survived.

If this is how I am with a fish, who knows how I will be when I have kids.

Hope from Russell Crowe

I saw Les Miserables last week, and it has been on my mind ever since. Not because I thought it was epic and amazing, as many people have versed. I thoroughly enjoyed it, was very impressed with the singing and acting, and thought it was the best possible screen adaptation of Victor Hugo's captivating story. However, it has been on my mind because of Javert.

I don't believe you are meant to emotionally connect with Javert as much as you are with Jean Valjean or Cosette, or even Marius. He is the bad guy. However, I felt so touched by Javert. His songs were the ones in which I cried most. As much as I like Russell Crowe, I do not believe in the least it was because of him. So, as I have spent time this week, thinking over it, I have come to the conclusion it was because the songs voiced so much of heart of Javert, and the pain and despair in his heart. Here is a man who has been brought up with strict adherence to the rules. He follows them to the letter. His life as a police officer is focused on enforcing that others do the same. The law is so much a part of his life, he believes he is the law. He sees obedience as the only path to salvation, as he so sings in "Stars:"

But mine is the way of the Lord
And those who follow the path of the righteous
Shall have their reward
And if they fall
As Lucifer fell
The flame
The sword!
...And so it must be
And so it is written
On the doorway to paradise
That those who falter and those who fall
Must pay the price!

Forgiveness is not a part of his world. His world revolves around the law. Insomuch that he cannot comprehend what is happening when Valjean lets him go. His world is torn apart. This was not justice. As his world crumbles, he sees no choice but death.

How tragic that is? A world without forgiveness. A world without redemption. A world without change. A world without hope. 

While we see the process of repentance and hope in many other characters, its absence in the life and death of Javert helped me to more fully appreciate the greatest of the gifts of God in my own life: that of hope through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

I love this quote by Victor Hugo in Les Miserables:

The book which the reader has under his eye at this moment is, from one end to the other, as a whole and in detail, whatever may be its intermittences, exceptions and faults, the march from evil to good, from the unjust to the just, from night to day, from appetite to conscience, from rottenness to life, from hell to heaven, from nothingness to God. 

  It is not just what the book is about, it is what life is truly about as well.

2012 Happenings

January

Started off the year with one of my favorite people, Karen, at the happiest place on earth. In the fog watching World of Color.

Since I never spend enough time traveling, I headed up to Seattle in the middle of January to visit my family and attend my friend Carrie's wedding.

February

This month marked the beginning of Lent. I usually give up something as a sort of second new years resolution. This year I successfully acheived a facebook fast, but the other goals weren't as successful. I blogged about my goals and my success, or lack thereof.

The Penrose Stair Climbers team competed in the annual Fight for Air Climb for the American Lung Association. Climbing 23 floors to raise funds and awareness for lung health.

This is such a fun event, and a great cause to be connected to! It is coming up in 2013 in SLC on February 23. Sign up!

March

I went to Costa Rica.

It was a wonderful life-changing experience of service and learning. Check out my photo post and my wordy reflection.

One day, I asked Lance what I should wear to go out, and he said, "Whatever. Just wear something like what I'm wearing." So, I did.

April

Celebrated the end of the mid-twenties and had some delicious homemade sushi for my birthday.

Hosted my friend Tracey on her visit from England. We did all the SLC touristy stuff, as it was her first time in Utah.

So fun to have her here.

My good friend Karen came to Utah for a visit. For whatever reason, this is the only picture I have from that whole weekend...

May

Ended this month camping over Memorial Day weekend. Southern Utah should be warm, right? Wrong. Spent the weekend freezing in Escalante. But it was super fun and a trip we will all remember.

June

Convinced everyone to get trashi-fied to go to the Demolition Derby. Turned out it was sold out, but the costumes were pretty awesome nonetheless.

Rushley got married. It was so fun to have family in town for the long weekend.

July

Canada. Not much time there, but it was beautiful and a wonderfully fun trip. Plus another stamp in my passport.

We also spent a few days in Seattle for the bi-annual Holmes family reunion.It was good to see everyone and catch up with my giant family. Everyone has changed so much, and there are so many new kids! I love it!

August

I moved into a wonderful house! I love it so much! It is so much closer to work. Plus I have my own bathroom and a beautiful front porch that looks out at downtown. I'm loving the new ward, and everything about this place.

Spur of the moment Marci and Aubree and I took a quick trip up to the reservoir for a day of sun and swimming. Ironically, it rained most of the time we were there, but it was a beautiful day and a memory-making experience.

Also, my brother Shayne welcomed a new little girl, Molly, into the family. We love this adorable new addition.

September

After a crazy few months at work, I decided I need a break and took a long weekend to Boise, to try out my dad's new old boat. It used to be my grandpa's. It was a beautiful couple days on the reservoir. We even got Mom out on a tube.

October

Took a cruise to Mexico with Karen. I guess I never blogged about it, so here are some pictures from the epic week aboard the Carnival Splendor.

Snorkeling in Cabo

I got a lot of sun. This hat helped a bit.

The dive-in movie. Night time showings at the Lido pool.

Extreme Canopy adventure.

Viva la Mexico!

On the deck. 

Daily hot chocolate on the deck. Maybe more than daily.

Towel animals.

Formal night.

The piano bar.

I also got to spend some time with some friends in LA before the cruise. Fun times with my friends Andrew and Randy. Thanks for the donuts!

Took another trip to Seattle for Miss Molly's blessing. Also got to spend some quality time with the family, including a super awesome cruise in the Puget Sound and Lake Union.

At the end of October, the sibs headed to Boise for Chantry's last time marching in the District III tournament. They did awesome!

We also took the time to go through the newly renovated Boise temple during its open house. They changed a lot. It is so beautiful!

November

We had pre-Thanksgiving dinner at my house. Turns out we can set up our house to have dinner seating for 16. Not sure we will have that many again, but in case we have another large gathering, we know it is possible.

Since I missed election night four years ago, I was not about to miss another one. Watched it with my friend JaNae and her husband. With red and blue sodas and many treats. Wished it would have gone a little longer, as I love the drama, but that's ok.

Went home for Thanksgiving. Finished the gratitude gobbler.

And played a rousing game of Karaoke Revolution with the sibs.

Of course ate some tasty Thanksgiving food, complete with turkey (although we ate that at the same time as pie).


December

Lots of Christmas concerts and shows. All of these were free. I love SLC.

First Presidency Christmas Devotional

A Christmas Carol: The Musical

 MoTab Christmas Concert. I love Tom Brokaw.

 Christmas Carol Service at The Madeleine Cathedral

Christmas at home in Boise. Fun notes from Santa, and doing absolutely nothing except this puzzle.

It was a pretty packed, busy, exciting, crazy, fun year. Here's to another! Bring on 2013!!